Nel's New Day

April 24, 2014

Ten Reasons to Vote Republican

Filed under: Uncategorized — trp2011 @ 6:56 PM
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From Ryan Denson who lives in Scottsdale (AZ), founder and operator of The Left Compass, a grassroots page on Facebook that promotes Democratic ideas and passions.

Tea Party lunatic Allen West, who lost his bid for reelection  in 2012, is also somewhat of a comedian. On his personal page, allenbwest.com, West posted a rather funny article called the “Top 10 Reasons to Vote Democrat in 2014.” The article lays out just what you would expect: liberals are taking your money, liberals want to take your guns, liberals elect activist judges to “rewrite the Constitution,” etc. etc. Very funny, coming from the guy who nearly has a 3:1 lie-to-truth ratio on Politifact. West, who does not shy away from controversy, told his readers that they would “get a kick” out of it. So to our readers, you’ll certainly get a kick, and a sucker punch with this.

10. I’ll vote Republican because even though I’m a woman, I love being told that I shouldn’t be paid equally because of the “free-market.” I also love being told that I’m not allowed conteception, or my legal right to an abortion (but a man can have Viagra and penis pumps no problem).

9. I’ll vote Republican because we must suffer the deaths of 31,000 men, women and children a year in order to preserve the option of assassinating our democratically elected politicians with our guns we bought at Walmart.

8. I’ll vote Republican because I work hard for my money, and nothing makes me happier than my tax dollars going to subsidize Big Oil and the major banks that crashed our economy in 2008. I also love that the Republicans are blaming the “lazy” minority for my economic woes.

7. I’ll vote Republican because I believe a President who gives Americans healthcare is a “terrorist dictator” but a tax-evading rancher in Nevada who uses women as human shields is a “patriot.”

6. I’ll vote Republican because we are the “pro-life” party, even though our deepest cuts go to feeding, housing, clothing, educating and medically treating low-income children, elderly and returning veterans.

5. I’ll vote Republican because rather than admitting our world’s climate is changing, I’ll sit around with my thumb up my butt and deny science so billionaires like the Koch Brothers can pollute the Earth and give more to my campaign.

4. I’ll vote Republican because even though our Founding Fathers have claimed we are not a “Christian Nation,” I still want my Christian faith to dictate who can and cannot get married, what children may learn in public schools, and what holidays may and may not be celebrated in public.

3. I’ll vote Republican because every judge who upholds the right to get married, to get an abortion, or be treated like a decent human being is an “activist judge,” but the judges who allow dirty money to pollute our elections are “freedom-loving.”

2. I’ll vote Republican because I support the gap between the richest and the middle class to widen because our policies only pander to the rich, and then complain that there is “class warfare” against us.

And finally, the number 1 reason I’ll be voting Republican:

1. I’ll vote Republican because I can’t get over the fact that President Obama was democratically elected twice, so I’ll make up a barrage of fake scandals like voter fraud, IRS, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, FEMA camps, to dumb down and inject fear into the GOP base so they don’t see how destructive our policies are.

These are the top 10 reasons why we MUST let the GOP take back the Senate and keep control of the House!

[Give this to all your Republican friends!–Nel Ward]

 

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